JanusWoman's Journal, 08 Apr 21

TBH I had to have a bit of a word with myself this week. I weigh myself every day and I've had a lot of up, up, up fluctuations. They don't bother me at all because I know that I'm eating right and exercising right and that everything will eventually trend down, but I was really worried about recording a big up here on FS on my weigh in day today! As it turns out the water weight has dropped off just in time but why was I so worried? What if I had recorded two or three pounds of freaky water weight? I have never had anything but supportive and positive comments on here. It really made me question why I worry what other people might think about something I'm not worried about myself. And in fact that has been my relationship with my weight my whole life. Even when I have felt good in my skin I've been up against real or imagined judgement about size or shape or weight or waist size or BMI or whatever. Well that can get in the bin now for good. I'm old enough to know better! Just posting this really to keep it real and let you all know what is going on in my silly head in case any of you can relate! Big hugs to my FS family, happy to be here with you all! 

Thank you for this ! I have been the same this week . I know I had ‘ fallen of the wagon ‘ & had had a few treats over Easter & I’d worried all week about my weight going up & not for myself but to the have to put it on here !! It is a wake up call & like you say why on Earth should I be worried about what others think ?! What you have written here has made me realise I’m doing this for me & my health & not for others, so thank you ☺️ 

Congratulations Janus 🙂🙂 Our bodies are so complex and this journey wouldn’t be so rewarding if we didn’t have these ups and downs Just yesterday I went on the scales and it only showed 100g down, then I go this morning and another 600 down 🤯 Numbers going down it’s amazing but the feeling of being in control of our health again has no price 

You’ve been doing amazingly! Well done on passing your goal 🥳. You’re right, we all get hung up on the numbers sometimes. It’s ok. Your long term consistency is what matters it’s a total inspiration 😊💕 

When I first started out I worked as a lifeguard. I looked pretty good! Then I started to see other girls who looked fitter than me. I also saw other girls who didn't. I quickly learned not to compare myself. I accepted that there would always be someone fitter than me and there would always be someone less fit. As long as I was happy with how I looked and felt and with the effort I put in that was what mattered. I still go by that today, 35 years later!  

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments. I knew you guys would understand! Gosh, Yuliia, I think during my pregnancies was the only time I didn’t care about how my body was judged. How hard it must be to feel the pressure to still conform to a certain rigid standard because of your profession. Anne, it’s great that you managed early on not to compare yourself with others. If I can get one message to my own daughters about their bodies it would be that. Fortunately they are so different in size and shape - but both healthy - that they have already grown up understanding that we are all given different gifts to make the most of. Such a good community here, great to be on the journey with you all 👊🏻 💪🏻 x