Kenna Morton's Journal, 29 Apr 22

I needed this!!! Thank you! 

This is SO true! Thanks Kenna💙 

Kenna, those are words we must all remember. No one wrestled us to the ground and forced us to overeat. Now, we have to face reality and lose that weight👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤗 

Whatever you do, don't give up and start enabling them. 

wow!!! that's deep  

Absolutely love this! Great post Kenna!💜💜 

For the newer people here, just a little background— almost everyone in my world is obese, diabetic and I have lost multiple friends to heart attacks and , stroke. My sister is also amongst these people. I have watched many of them transition from active people, hikers, travelers, to people whose idea of getting together is eating in a restaurant. I have done everything in my power to support, help, encourage with zero success. Now, one by one I am removing these people from my life permanently and without reservation because it really is not healthy for me to agonize and worry when they themselves don’t care. So far 3 long time friends of over 20 years are no longer part of my life. They were surprised, shocked, hurt, but it is just no longer my problem.  

Kenna, this is so important to learn and freeing. Thank you. ❤️  

@Kenna: do you just ghost them or do you say something like, "Nah, I'd rather just catch up on your obituary"? 

No to both. No ghosting and no snide remarks. In person, simple explanation. I’m no longer a participant in your unhealthy life style It has become just too painful for me to watch it happening. Best of luck. No more watching you go from over weight to obese, to morbidly obese and watch one health problem after another develop including diabetes, neuropathy, early retinal disease, heart failure, atrial fibrillation, heart attack, now, bowel and GI tract malfunction and early stage kidney disease and let’s not visual problems from diabetic retinopathy. It pains me to even write about this sad situation. 

I don’t know if it’s mental illness or addiction, but eating to the point of hurting and killing yourself seems no different than an abused wife staying with her abuser. Hoping that doing/eating the same crappy thing day after day will somehow produce positive results. I see it here on FS constantly. 

How does one "promise that they won't journey alone" or how do you "loan them your map", if we cut them out of our lives? 🤔 

Mn1531— in my case these people were finally cut out of my life after YEARS and YEARS of trying to be supportive and kind to them. I “gave them my map” so to speak and they redrew it to suit themselves. The relationships just became toxic and not good for me to continue to participate in.. 

@JustBananas you hit the nail on the head. Food addiction is very real, often triggered by unresolved trauma/anxiety/depression, etc.. Binge eating/eating “crap foods” (especially high-glycemic refined carbs) triggers the release of both serotonin and dopamine, making the behavioral/biofeedback loop especially hard to break. It’s a deeply engrained behavior reinforced by feel-good/calming chemicals in the brain. Many of the morbidly obese individuals I have known/worked with needed medication/therapy before they could even consider dieting successfully. 

@Kenna: You remind me of my grandmother. She lived to 96, and had spent her retirement years with a dance studio for seniors. Not hip hop, of course, but she showed me some newspaper photos of her troupe in a Radio City Music Hall line & kick, decked out in tap shoes and fishnets. All her friends were thin like her. In a way, it's a support group to stay healthy. I find it oddly calming to take classes at the Barre Method and yoga studios. No one feels it necessary to eat pizza afterwards to hang. 

that is such a strong adult statement Kenna Morton "the relationships just became toxi and not good for me to continue to participate in - I gave them my map "so to speak" and they redrew it to suit themselves ---- I admire both Kenna and Erg for their complete command of the english language ---- I am more "rough cut" and more likely to shred the map in front of them and tell them to f*ck off - for this life and good luck to you. From that experience they talk of "Unconditional Love" -(has anyone ever heard of that before) ----- my response to that is "YOU FIRST" (((((( I am laughing as I cut copy and paste this image to my facebook page)))) Thank you Kenna!!! 

There "done" and filed under "people love" 

While there are people around me who do not live up to my health standards in any way and in my opinion may cut their life a bit short but there is more to them than that for me so although I do not engage in trying to change their health I will not cut them out. I would lose more than I would gain 

It's funny. When my ex came over to see if we can help with funeral expenses for our 2nd oldest (he was 5), I got angry, because he died without me seeing him one last time, because of a legal issue. Now that I look back at the memory, she was the most beautiful person I ever met. The saying rings true. 

Jwsalaz— I remember you said you had lost three sons. I can’t imagine anything worse.