Snowwhite100's Journal, 28 Oct 22

Today is my 81st Birthday. I met my weight goal. None of it matters at the moment. The day before yesterday at our daughter's doctor's appointment he told her she is in "Acute Liver Failure". It was only a week ago she was saying she needed to walk more to build up her muscles and Sunday they were at Lowes to return a faucet. She was using the wheelchair brought over by a friend. A week and a half ago she was too weak to walk to the bathroom by herself. My husband and I have known about her cancer spreading to the liver for 2 weeks. She has known for 5 to 6 weeks. It was only last week the doctor told her the liver wasn't as bad as he thought it might be. For 2 weeks she has been saying she was so bloated she looked 8 months pregnant. She has lost so much weight she is down to a size 0 so it wouldn't take much especially if she was exaggerating, because her husband said nooooo. But she said she was up 5 lb from water. My husband would not tell me he was willing to go to see his dying daughter. He wanted her to come here. She is in no shape to do that. Our extra bedroom is a storage room, and for 2 years when they came they brought their trailer. At the doctor's office 2 days ago he said she could go have the water taken off her abdomen in 2 days and did not mention Hospice. She said she couldn't take it anymore and when they left there they went to the hospital emergency and they took THREE LITERS of water off her abdomen! My little skinny darling daughter. The nurse there asked her about Hospice and offered her Morphine. It was only Sunday she told me she was jaundiced which is the same as Bilirubin and said it was doubling every week. Sunday it was 12 and 2 days later it was 18. That means it is going up an average of 3 points a day. I looked on Google and it says in liver failure you get brain damage from the toxins at 20 to 25 points. That sounds like 2 more days for her. She told the doctor she is still going to fight. Most people that have Acute Liver Failure are not only in the hospital they are in Intensive Care. The Acute form comes on in hours, days, or weeks. I think hers came on within 2 days. I told her 2 days ago I am packed and ready to go to her (Arizona), but she hasn't wanted us. Today when I called her husband answered and was crying that they had a terrible night, she can't stand the pain, and he is falling apart, etc. He has been taking wonderful care of her but she couldn't sleep much so he is exhausted and then they were both up all night last night. They called the doctor this morning and at noon were waiting for Hospice to come. I asked if we could come and help in any way or just hold her hand. They have extra bedrooms. I could hear her in the background so her brain isn't gone yet. I told him I "want" to go there and be with her and help. They said they would call after Hospice was there. By 1 pm my husband said he would not go today and would physically stop me if I tried to go by myself. Since he is now abusive I believe him and know if I snuck out it might be terrible when I returned. Besides how can I leave a disabled husband alone without a car and no food. Plus he already wants to throw all my belongings away, I might come home to an empty house or a house burned down. By 3 pm I said I agree, and would he "please" go with me when I go. He has oxygen equipment: a big oxygen concentrator, a small portable one, C-Pap equipment, etc., and it would be bad trying to go in the middle of the night. Right now it is almost 6 pm and they haven't called back. Maybe Hospice takes longer to come out with a same-day desperate call. I don't know how much they do. The pain medication her husband mentioned would not even touch her pain in my opinion. Our darling daughter is dying. My husband is now packed are ready to go to his daughter. Our son was killed by a drunk driver when he was 21. You don't expect to bury your children. I took care of my mother for 7 months when she was dying of cancer and it took me a year to recoup. I was only 28 and not suffering from a very bad back. My 86-year-old husband almost went into the hospital two weeks ago. His heart and lungs aren't strong enough to pump out excess water. He tells me over there I will have 3 people to take care of. I can barely take care of myself. But we will be ready to leave in the morning if they will let us. Her husband said he can't handle anymore so probably he will talk her into it. If not by the time they let us come she may be in a coma or gone. The Lord is carrying me. It's nice my husband is finally willing to go say goodbye to his own daughter.

53.8 kg Lost so far: 0.1 kg.    Still to go: 0.5 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.