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Feeling like my body is carrying an oversized sumo wrestler, I debated long and hard with myself whether I should go on the scales. "You got to bite the bullet," my inner voice instructed me "for better or for worse." So I climbed on the scales convinced they would show a gain - I mean how could they not after an entire week's of overeating?!
I remember from Weight Watchers way back in my younger years that weight does not show immediately; it is building slowly. So maybe next week will come my punishment. Or maybe the weight is a result of taking water tablet yesterday to ease with the bulk of the lymphedema which makes it hard to walk.
You see weekends are my worst days: daughter not doing my bandaging and not cooking. I spend 48 hours without human contact. How tragic is that?! Anyway, enough explaining/excuses. I must try harder this week. I need to be fit to at least travel back to my country if not to return there permanently.
So much to do if I want to be happy! Time is running out and I am wasting it feeling sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, anxious and unloved. (I need to insert an aside here. Each time I go home, it ends up in tears as soon as 3 hours after rejoining my family. And I am berating myself for going when I know fully well how things turn out and desperately trying to find ways to return home to the safety of England! Why is it like this? Why can't my life be peaceful?)
Happy new week, self and... universe!
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195.5 kg
Lost so far: 0 kg.
Still to go: 75.5 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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2268 kcal
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Fat: 126.06g | Prot: 102.84g | Carbs: 176.16g.
Breakfast: Cravendale Whole Milk, Silver Spoon White Sugar, Asda Chosen By You Cooked Ham, Chavroux Pure Goat's Cheese, Butter , Hovis Medium White Bread. Lunch: Knorr Chicken Gravy Pot, Sainsbury's Sweetcorn Cobettes, Birds Eye Steam Fresh Green Medley, Coca-Cola Coca-Cola (Can), Asda Chosen By You Giant Yorkshire Pudding, Waitrose No 1 Free Range Cumberland Sausages 400 G. Dinner: Bananas . more...
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Losing 0.8 kg a Week
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 Comments
Where are you currently living Tania? I wish you all the best on your plans to return to England. It looks like we are slowly eeking out of the covid crisis 🤞 and things will get much better.
25 May 20 by member: steelie_martini
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I live in outer London. I am currently in London.
25 May 20 by member: TaniaBarnet
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So.. today I cooked. Made toad in the hole. Told myself to leave the second portion alone but myself argued it would go to waste (carer didn't stay for lunch as she had plans with friends.) Again ate all my allowance on one meal and I will be starving by night time. Sigh. No control! When am I going to go back to normal?! (June 1st?)
25 May 20 by member: TaniaBarnet
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Ahhh I'm in Somerset!
It's so difficult only cooking for yourself and I found the best way around over eating was to buy dining ware that meant I did a smaller cook so I wouldn't feel like I had to eat everything to save on wastage.
I got myself some individual portion pie dishes and I use them from pasta bakes to pies to toad in the hole and its great because its less to wash up too 😁
I'm sure other people might have some helpful suggestions too, after all most of us who are in here I am betting eat for emotional reasons etc.
We're all very much in the same boat and it's great to share because everyone on FS is so helpful and supportive. Just don't beat yourself up, have your dinner as normal, learn from what happened today and be kind to yourself ❤️
25 May 20 by member: steelie_martini
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I could have used scissors to remove 2 links and put them in the fridge for tomorrow. I didn't. In my defence it is hard cooking when you cannot stand up and reach things easily. Could have also eaten one bag of veg shared with my kid. She doesn't appreciate veg anyway. She left most of hers on her plate and I ate what she had left in her bag in addition to mine. I could have skipped the coke. I just want to have a breakthrough like when I was fasting for Easter. Corona made things difficult. I hear lots of people are putting on weight. I need to anchor myself and think positively and beat my demons. But all I can think is that yet another summertime will go by without me going outdoors or having fun. Then the anxiety attacks strike.
25 May 20 by member: TaniaBarnet
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I just freeze the extras when I cook. Have never learned to cook for one, so bought a load of one portion boxes, and have meals ready to go. This means I do not overeat, as defrosting another portion is a pain. I also started using side plates for my mains, if it doesn't fit on the plate, I'm not having it.
Try changing the coke for a diet version, that is really low on calories but still gives you the sweet and fizzy fix, that is what I did and it worked, now I hardly ever touch the stuff any more. If you do get a takeaway, just eat half and save the rest for the next day? More bang for your buck and healthier too! You can do it!
27 May 20 by member: smoothtoffee
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Smoothtoffee, of course if I stop to think of what I am doing, there are ways to protect me from my gluttony. But I am impetuous by nature. To be fair, I haven't been dieting long. I began with the Lent fast but had to give it up for the virus as products became hard to obtain. I expect to get more energised and organised as time passes. Last night I caught myself exercising in my chair. Just knee lifts, nothing much. And prior to that, I put some music on and was moving to the beat. I was alone as my daughter did not fancy joining my party. But it is ok. Can't rely on the participation of others in the improvement of my life. I remembered trying to get in the exercise quota in the past by sitting and standing up repeatedly and doing vertical push ups using the table before midnight. That was over a year ago. I want to do it again.
Thank you for encouraging me with great hints! :)
28 May 20 by member: TaniaBarnet
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TaniaBarnet's Weight History
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