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I realized I just didn't eat enough last night, thus the emotional reaction after the cookies. I let myself be hungry for too long and then exercised instead of eating, which led to hypoglycemia. this has been a big problem for me many times over the years but not since I've been here, because I've been so good at counting my protein grams and calories to make sure they are high enough (but not too high, re: calories). I eat more calories than most people here, because I know from tons of experience that I have very severe hypoglycemia when I don't. the other problem with eating really low cal for me is that I may lose weight but my body fat percentage goes up, which I know is not healthy or attractive. Its a challenge for me sometimes because the general consensus is that you must eat very little in order to lose weight, and although I know that's not what works for me, its tempting at times to follow the crowd. I love fatsecret, but I hate that little ticker at the bottom of the page that compares my intake to others, because its always higher (of course, my exercise is always higher, too, so it could be worse). what's this about other members eating 6 or 700 cals per day? is that for real, or is the site just comparing me to people who haven't logged in everything?
today's my brother's birthday so it will be a challenge for my allergy elimination. because his wife just had a baby (yay!!!) we are going to their house for food instead of out to eat. so I've offered to prepare some food that is within my diet. I'm finding it hard to keep to this diet. and I don't mean that I can't control myself, just that I sit there and try to figure out what to eat and look longingly at the convenient english muffins and soymilk. non-allergen food is not very convenient, imo. :)
in other news, I have decided to start some private journaling to deal with my negative emotions on the weight loss issue. its been years that I've been trying with virtually nothing but the opposite of what I've been trying for and deep down I am pretty bitter. add to that the fact that the catalyst (but not the reason!) for my coming here was a person I thought I loved being really critical of my weight and saying tactless things (like that he "had" to close his eyes to be intimate with me), and you have some emotional toxicity. I will be dealing with that in my paper journal, because I think it is a big enough problem to be blocking my progress.
you know what would be cool? I'm on livejournal, and on there you can choose for each post: can your buddies see it, or everyone, or only you? that way you are not restricted to just one choice like you are here.
View Diet Calendar, 12 January 2008:
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1988 kcal
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Fat: 81.03g | Prot: 62.63g | Carbs: 260.44g.
Breakfast: cheese, brown rice snaps, flaxseed, peanut butter, hemp protein powder. Lunch: walnuts, olive oil, beans, gluten free pasta. Dinner: gluten free pasta. Snacks/Other: pecans, apple. more...
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2904 kcal
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Exercise:
Sitting - 14 hours, bike - 12 minutes, Resting - 1 hour and 48 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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