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No change in weight, but that is okay. Realizing that I have not gotten any exercise in two days and then yesterday I was so stressed. So I will take that and I had higher calories yesterday, but that beats emotional eating which is what I wanted to do. Hot tea to the rescue.
Here is a NSV - I found this body fat calculator that uses not only your weight but some measurements to calculate your BMI. According to this I am now in the acceptable range!! This is the address for anyone that wants to check it out: http://www.bmi-calculator.net/body-fat-calculator/#result Now to work on getting into the 'fit' BMI.
Okay last night was a bit painstaking. So DH has been having some back pains and the Dr said that is probably from kidney/bladder and his creatinine is up some (which I saw in the bloodwork) but it isn't that much elevated to freak me out about kidney disease. So they will do some more tests on that end. So last night he had a lot of moaning and sighing and groaning with the back. I know I am going to sound mean and uncaring, but his back didn't become that much more painful in the span of one day and the doctor telling him that it was probably his kidneys. However, after that conversation and the blood test results he is suddenly in so much more pain?? I am still mad. He had the nerve to say that he wasn't going to take insulin. What the hell?? He said that he told the Dr that and the Doc said that they would have an argument. I told him that he and I would have an argument, too, because he needs to get his BS under control. He had the nerve to say that he will change his eating habits. What??? I told him that he couldn't get his head wrapped around changing his lifestyle permanently. That last year it was 7.1 and he was told then if he didn't get it under control he would be put on insulin and he did not make any changes. He said well it wasn't this bad. What?!?!?! You knew you needed to change that it wasn't going to magically get better on its own!! OMG!!!!! He asked me why I thought he needed to be on insulin. I told him it was better than going blind or losing a foot. He can always make the decision to make a lifestyle change and if he truly does then they can take him off or readjust the meds. I am pissed!!!
Breathing not going to let it get me down. I will get some much needed exercise in today so I can release some of this stress and anger that I am carrying around right now. Well that is my plan even though he said he is coming home early today. That is okay maybe my good habits will rub off on him. One can always hope. :)
Y'all have a great day and weekend and remember to be kind to yourselves.
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1042 kcal
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Fat: 76.08g | Prot: 54.08g | Carbs: 25.25g.
Breakfast: Vitacup Vitacup Green Tea matcha moringa. Lunch: Kroger Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, Olde Cape Cod Sundried Tomato, Olive Oil and Basil Lite Dressing, Wyler's Chicken Bouillon Cubes, Darigold Heavy Whipping Cream, Cara Mia Artichoke Hearts in Water. Dinner: Kerrygold Pure Irish Butter, Kirkland Signature Stir-Fry Vegetable Blend, Baked or Broiled Salmon, Olive Oil. Snacks/Other: Beef Jerky, Johnsonville Jalapeño & Cheddar Smoked Sausage, Nature Made Magnesium, Tea (Brewed), Spring Valley D3. more...
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3007 kcal
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Exercise:
Bike Machine (Cycling) - 20 minutes, Weight Training (moderate) - 15 minutes, IFit 2.26 mile 8 CTA ft - 28 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 57 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
Hugs. Maybe he needs a day to take this all in.
15 Mar 19 by member: liv001
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Thanks, Liv. Yes, maybe so. I will go with him to the doctor next week, but I cannot do this for him. I can help but I can't do it; he has to want to do it.
15 Mar 19 by member: jaime30024
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Thanks for the bmi calculator, I'll definitely check it out.
My girlfriend's nephew wouldn't go on insulin and he was only in his twenties. He never saw his thirties. I hope he will think seriously about what he is doing. My mom did insulin and a diet. Now she no longer needs insulin. It's amazing what losing weight and getting fit can do for your body.
Just remember, you can't control his actions only yours. Be sure to take care of yourself during this stressful time.
15 Mar 19 by member: JeanA52
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Thank you, Jean! My grandmother lived into her 90's and she was also on insulin, but she was still cognizant of what she ate. That is what I am going to tell him at the Dr appt. It isn't a life sentence unless you choose for it to be. I can help you but I cannot do this for you or make the decisions for you. Nor will I let it consume me to the point that I am no longer taking care of me because I am trying to manage you. I just cannot do it. :(
15 Mar 19 by member: jaime30024
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Stress.. I think the only stress worse than that would be worrying about the children. I feel for you. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
15 Mar 19 by member: FullaBella
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I'm sure much of his reaction stems out of fear. Hopefully after talking to the doctor and understanding the significance to his health if he chooses not to go on insulin, he will get some sense and follow the doctors orders.
15 Mar 19 by member: shiny50
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Maybe your husband has fear like Shiny50 says, but when it comes to my husband, I don't think he has fear. I would have to think about this some more, but off the top of my head I think there is an element of pride in my husband that contributes to him not willing to change his eating habits. Let me give you a couple of examples: he says when he approaches a stop sign he doesn't have to stop if someone next to him is starting t go through, he can just go with them. He says he will never look over his shoulder to see the blind spot, and yes, he does occasionally pull into someone. My friend says he is so prideful that he just doesn't think he has to obey the rules. He appears to me to be thinking that the bad results that other people have, won't happen to him, because he is above it. He will not listen to ANYONE'S advise. He wants to do what he wants to do, which includes eating what pleases him. He doesn't care about others including me. I wish I was as strong as Miraculum suggests, but he punishes me. It would be hell around here if I stood up to him. He would punish me emotionally for sure. Any more? I'm not sure. I am 77 years old, a little late to leave.
16 Mar 19 by member: Snowwhite100
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If he could only realize what the long term results of an uncontrolled blood sugar are...
16 Mar 19 by member: Tassos67
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@Jaime30024, the only thing *you* can do, now that you've made your opinion clear to your husband, is LET IT GO. You may have to remind yourself to practice that stance minute by minute. Fighting him accomplishes nothing -- except to frustrate your more. He wants to have control of this. He doesn't want your help. He'll only become more defiant, the more you insist. You're in a tug-of-war. **Let go of your end of the rope.**
16 Mar 19 by member: Miraculum
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@Snowwhite100, the way your husband acts is already "punishing" you. You've said before that your husband may have early dementia. The way he talks about driving, for example, may sound "prideful" to you. But, to an outsider like me, it sounds "mentally unbalanced." It must be very difficult for you. You may need third-party support to lay out a plan for your own and your husband's *safety*.
16 Mar 19 by member: Miraculum
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@Miraculum, thank you, thank you, thank you! Both your advise to Jaime and I, is invaluable. Not only Jamie, but I need to LET IT GO. I am copying your remarks into my word processing program so I can refer to them often, to remind myself. Both of our husbands, and many others, want control over us in addition to their own lives, and you are right, they don't want our help. It is a hard thing to let go, but in theory I totally agree. And I have to admit, I have contributed, by bringing home some things like croissants or a pie, at the free give out at church, to have some things here for my daughter visiting. They are coming in tonight, till Tuesday. I even have trouble forgiving and forgetting, that she said a couple of weeks ago that I play the victim. He is nice to her and in front of her. But maybe I am fooling myself. If I think about it very long, I fall into self pity. Sometimes I am fine, other times I am hanging on by a thread. I crumble emotionally when he yells at me, and am ashamed to be so weak emotionally. I guess I shouldn't be writing this on this site, but wanted to support Jaime. Probably I am narcissistic, to always start talking about myself. @Jaime20024, please be comforted, I believe Miraculum in right, but it is very hard to do. I will pray for you (and for me). Some days are better than others, aren't they? By the way, Miraculum, I truly believe that my husband will not stop driving even if he loses his license. Yes, I am on the verge of not riding with him. Sometimes he lets me drive, but not if he knows I want to, but becomes defiant. My riding with him, has so far, given a little measure of safety. If he loses his license, I know for sure, that is my signal to absolutely stop riding with him. We would not have insurance on him, if he loses his license, and we could lose our house plus whatever else we have. I just, yesterday, bought a minimum umbrella policy, since he does run red lights once in awhile, through inattention. This is an area I KNOW I can't control him, although I still scream occasionally in fear, but I cannot keep HIM safe. Now I need to never nag about food.
16 Mar 19 by member: Snowwhite100
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Oh, Snowwhite100! Many of us are trained as children to be "other-centered" as a spiritual practice, but we ourselves need love and support, too! I don't think you're being "narcissistic" at all. FS is definitely an outlet and a safe place to vent and process feelings, and I'm glad you're taking advantage of that instead of holding it all it. I'm always here with an ear! And I'm so glad that you purchased that umbrella policy and that you're thinking about avoiding riding in the car with your husband. A person who suffers from some element of dementia can still manifest some of their lifelong "emotional habits." Your husband has controlled you with manipulation for so many years. Favoring your daughter over you and "acting nice" have been useful for many years. I think that KNOWING what's going on, how he thinks (like not letting you drive when he knows you want to), can be so helpful in giving you some psychological distance from his machinations.
16 Mar 19 by member: Miraculum
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jaime30024's Weight History
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