jaime30024's Journal, 14 Mar 19

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Didn't weigh this morning, but mostly because my morning was all out of sorts and I forgot before I started working on my water.

Yesterday was a wash exercise wise. I had an appointment that required me to leave right after work. I would have been home in time to get an a quick run and then cook dinner, before the EMT meeting....BUT I came up on a multiple vehicle accident and stopped to check everyone out until Fire and Ambulance arrived. There weren't any evident injuries but folks needed to get checked out and will be sore.

By the time I got home it was time to start dinner. I made Creamy Chicken with Artichokes and Sundried Tomatoes and it was so good. I have made this before and used coconut cream in place of the dairy. I also used what I had which was the jarred sundried tomatoes. It is so good and filling. The address for the recipe if you want to check it out: https://www.lemonblossoms.com/blog/chicken-with-artichokes-and-sundried-tomatoes-cream-sauce/

My SIL spent the night and my husband went to help her with a new salon she is opening. I headed to the meeting.

On another note, as some of you know my husband is Type 2 Diabetic and he chooses to manage (or mismanage) with medicine. I try not to sit in judgement of him. I cannot expect him to be like me...my family history is strong with T2D and I do not want to be on the meds. He has been on them, but still not managing. Yes, I make good keto meals at home, but he requires rice or mac and cheese with his. He is also prone to a couple glasses of milk, at night, and (non diet) sodas as well as making himself cookies and popcorn in the evening. It doesn't make it easy for me. Anyway, I am venting here really. He had his blood work and I knew his A1C would be high. He doesn't check his BS he has been tired more a lot and napping longer. And the A1C is 8.8!! I am not happy...I am really sad, but I am not his mother. I have a hard enough time managing my health. So he got the letter from the doctor that said in caps SUGAR IS TOO HIGH and to call for an appointment to discuss meds and possibly insulin...because his triglycerides are so much higher than last time...they have over doubled. Now diabetes and triglycerides are somewhat attached to a degree so I suppose I shouldn't be too shocked. He made the appointment today, for next week, and texts me (damn talk to text) "The won't take insulin". I do not know what he was saying. I text back 'What's that? The?' didn't get an answer. So I am stressed now are we going to have a blow up tonight because that is what I am feeling. Seriously if this man comes home and tells me that he is not going to take insulin I will fucking go off. It is a little too late for that now. Your A1C was 7.1 last year and the doctor told you then if you didn't get it under control you would be on insulin. You have chose not to manage it and now you need to take the meds or suffer other problems. Anyway, I will be going to this appointment with him. Also, I am sorry if this sounds mean...I have told him in the past that if he gets put on insulin from his poor choices that he best not expect me to give him his shot because he is perfectly capable. It would be different if he weren't capable of giving himself the shot, but that isn't the case. I am mad. I am disappointed. I am sad. I also KNOW that he has to manage his health his way, and I cannot expect everyone to want to manage their health through diet and exercise. I mean I have struggled for years, but maybe that is part of my being mad. I KEEP TRYING. I have struggled for years, but I have not given up on myself.

Sigh...anyway....not sure how long our company will be down today/this afternoon. However, if she leaves at a decent hour then I will go to the gym. If not then I guess I will have to work extra hard Friday and then both Saturday and Sunday.

It is easy to allow yourself not to go or to slip. I know...I have done that many times and that is how I sabotage myself. This is a lifestyle. There will be days that I have to change plans. Days that things come up. Days, like today, that I am stressed....mad, sad and disappointed AND scared for someone I love...it would be easy to go binge and emotionally eat. I want to today, but I am not. That will not solve anything.

End of vent/rant/whining. Please be kind to yourselves and never give up on YOU.

View Diet Calendar, 14 March 2019:

1275 kcal

Fat: 88.66g | Prot: 78.13g | Carbs: 18.49g. Breakfast: Cara Mia Artichoke Hearts in Water, Darigold Heavy Whipping Cream, Wyler's Chicken Bouillon Cubes, Olde Cape Cod Sundried Tomato, Olive Oil and Basil Lite Dressing, Kroger Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, Vitacup Vitacup Green Tea matcha moringa. Lunch: mission pork skins, Kerrygold Pure Irish Butter, Kirkland Signature Organic Coconut Oil, Flavored Coffee (made From Ground), Green sauce, IBIH, Cured Ham (Boneless, Cooked, Heated). Dinner: Johnsonville Jalapeño & Cheddar Smoked Sausage, Organic Girl Baby Spinach. Snacks/Other: Beef Jerky, Emerald Cashew Halves & Pieces 100 Calorie Pack, Spring Valley D3, Sundown Naturals Magnesium 500mg, NeoCell Super Collagen, Tea (Brewed). more...

5 Supporters Support

Comments

I am right there with you. My live in boyfriend is 300+ pounds, type 2 diabetic, high cholesterol blah blah blah, I am about 100 pounds overweight and my last A1c showed pre-diabetes. I made a serious decision right then to lose weight. Since the first of the year, I am down 18 pounds. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has gained at least 10 pounds. I love him dearly and don't want to lose him, but you can't force change on someone who doesn't want to change. Hugs your way.

14 Mar 19 by member: shiny50

I too am right there with you. My husband eats toast or cold cereal almost every morning, wants rice, pasta, or potatoes with the entree I cook. He has chips with his salad, and has bourbon or wine with 7-up, plus sweets. Being prediabetic for several years, his A1C just keeps going up, but he isn't willing to give up these things. Our next door neighbor lost both her legs, and parts of all her fingers, and is now on dialysis. Her doctor told her to give up rice and soda pop, and she wouldn't listen. My husband's kidneys are already compromised. It's heart breaking to see our loved ones putting their heads in the sand, and just do what feels good now. Will I be forced to care for him after a stroke or heart attack? With my bad back, I can't do ANY lifting. I send my hugs to you too.

14 Mar 19 by member: Snowwhite100

T2D is so tough to live with. My diagnosis in 2016 shocked me into action, I lost 20% of my body weight and switched to keto WOE. Now my A1c, cholesterol and triglycerides are normal. So it can be done.

15 Mar 19 by member: gz9gjg

Oh no. Hope it goes well with your husband. But yeah we cannot make people do something they are not willing to do themselves.

15 Mar 19 by member: liv001

Thanks, everyone. Yes, T2D is hard to live with and I know that it can be controlled and have seen way too many people come off the meds by changing their WOE/Lifestyle. That is probably the most frustrating thing for me. Is to hear him complain about all the pills he is taking, to see his brother on insulin and to not take charge. He wants to take charge/control in every other aspect of life, but he just won't when it comes to his food choices. It is very frustrating to me. Also, when he did try to eat better his A1C was in the 6.8 range...not off meds but a big improvement. However, he complained the ENTIRE time. He was always hungry...associating the habit of snacking with hunger. Substitute foods don't taste like the 'real thing'...well of course not, manage your expectations! Sigh. I appreciate you all and the support.

15 Mar 19 by member: jaime30024

Wait till he sees the cost of what some people have to pay for insulin. That might help motivate him to work on his numbers. Unfortunately his poor decision may have a huge impact on you and your family . But people are going to do what people are going to do. Disability and death from diabetes is not pretty.

15 Mar 19 by member: Kenna Morton

I have TD2 in my family (on Metformin) and I believe that I was 'undiagnosed' because I 'wasn't there yet' but, I had a ton of the symptoms. Anyway, I just wanted to say that the NEED to eat sugar is UNCONTROLABLE. I do not have a 'choice'. So, for me, Splenda and not eating 'solid food' most days is the only thing that works. If I eat I 'carb out'. Period. I am not 'broken', that is just the way it is. Many people would gladly trade places with me if that was the worst thing in their life :) - - Anyway, I just wanted to add that to help with the 'compassion' that you already have for what he is going through.

15 Mar 19 by member: adefwebserver

The Food Industry is making food ADDICTIVE just like Phillip Morris, etc. kept making cigarettes more and more addictive. Its the reason we ALL should avoid processed food like avoiding the Black Plague. Doing the first two weeks of the South Beach Diet was a real learning experience for me--there is a big list of foods that one can eat as much of as they want to--lol I bet your husband would love that--truly. All kinds of great food one can eat but there are no foods that are high in carbs/have high glycemic loads because the dr who authors the book wants each of us to ditch our carb cravings. The first couple of days are interesting but after that it was great. I didnt want to go off that 2 week plan when it came time to as I didn't trust myself with any foods that were addictive. I have just had to come to the point where I realize that certain foods-cake, ice cream, etc.-are addictive-serve no nutritional or beneficial purpose for our bodies and I simply have to abstain from eating them. Happy St. Pats Day!

15 Mar 19 by member: gone51

Yes, I agree. These carb/processed/sugar foods are addictive! It is hard. I struggle daily myself. My fear to contract T2D is what has helped me keep trying over the years. This surgery I had was the catalyst to get my shit together. It doesn't mean that I don't want them. It is extremely hard when he would bake cookies and leave them sitting out for me to smell, see and eat them in front of me. However, I knew I couldn't live in a bubble and needed to be able to start exercising some self-control, self-management....not sure what to call it. Yes, these foods are highly addictive to many of us. It is not easy. It gets easier but still some days are much harder than others. I agree when we find what works for us it doesn't make us 'broken' it just means we had to figure out what worked for us.

15 Mar 19 by member: jaime30024

The food industry only manufactures what they can sell. For instance— look how quickly they went into grinding out various ‘low carb’ and cauliflower everything. As long as the consumer continues to buy what they are selling, they have control. When we quit buying some of this processed crap they will quit making it. All about economics and addiction. The chemical flavoring on chips is designed to last less than 10 seconds and then it dissipates. So there we go— the concept of BET YOU CANT EAT JUST ONE..

15 Mar 19 by member: Kenna Morton

@Gone51, the food industry has been making food addictive for decades. In the 1970s, I remember comparing "low fat" and regular Fig Newtons. The "low fat" had *more* calories. So, I checked: Yep. The sugar was increased in the "low fat" version!