notelaine's Journal, 19 Apr 16

Ramblings ahead. Just feel like logging this here since it’s been nice to be able to go back and read other entries to give myself perspective, and I suck at keeping any other kind of journal. I feel like everything in my life right now is just barely controlled chaos and time just flies by. I have so much going on with work and huge deadlines coming up and I’m not sure how we are going to manage. Also realized I’ve been dating my boyfriend for six months now, and it kinda freaked me out. I don’t really think it’s going to work out, so now I’m stressing about how much time I’ve wasted with him. I mean, he’s a nice guy and all, but I just feel so….. blah about him. Like, if for whatever reason I suddenly wouldn’t ever be able to see him again, I’d be fine. Which is probably not how I should feel about a significant other. But it’s how I’ve been feeling about everything for a while. Every interaction I have with people feels forced. I could easily become a hermit and never leave my home.


But, on the plus side, total ambivalence has made it easier to stick to a healthy diet. Except for almond butter. I need to toss that stuff. Give me a spoon and I will just go to town on that jar. Overall though I've been doing well, and am actually looking forward to my weigh-in tomorrow.

View Diet Calendar, 19 April 2016:
1505 kcal Fat: 54.07g | Prot: 114.71g | Carbs: 167.50g.   Breakfast: GNC Flax Seed Oil, Strawberries, Spinach, Nature's Bounty Complete Protein & Vitamin Shake Mix. Lunch: Food For Life Baking Company Ezekiel 4:9 Flax Sprouted Whole Grain Bread, Tuna salad. Dinner: Green String Beans, Vegetarian chili. Snacks/Other: Good Natured Baked Vegetable Crisps (28g), Cheddar Cheese, Maranatha Natural Almond Butter Roasted, Dymatize Nutrition ISO 100 Hydrolyzed 100% Whey Protein Isolate - Gourmet Chocolate. more...

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Comments 
I have the same problem with almond butter :) 
19 Apr 16 by member: Sugar Waffle
I remember a saying: "You never have to force what is truly meant to be." 
19 Apr 16 by member: Sugar Waffle
Hope you don't take offense, but my 12yo son's new favorite joke seems applicable. What do love and a fart have in common? ...If you have to force it, it's probably crap! 
19 Apr 16 by member: izzypup68
nice, sound about right. 
19 Apr 16 by member: J1m3n3z
I had to quit buying Nutella for the same reason. As for your boyfriend, I think maybe now's not the time to make that decision. It seems you have a lot of stress from work that could be interfering with this relationship. Unless the relationship is harmful, just wait & see what happens. 
19 Apr 16 by member: Toni Bourlon
Don't give up on almond butter LOL. I eat one tablespoon of almond butter or peanut butter on my toast almost every morning. :) 
19 Apr 16 by member: jparlett
I take two tsp at a time w almond butter. I eat it out of a half tsp so I can have more lol. Just had some after my workout :-) 
19 Apr 16 by member: Mistybenner
If you're that indifferent to the relationship probably is best to cut it loose. I was with my wife for six years, and about to the point (honestly, well beyond the point) of indifference, then she got pregnant and that changed everything. I'm glad I stuck with it, but I don't recommend anyone else do the same.  
19 Apr 16 by member: 1point21gigawatts
Thanks for the support and advice everyone. And Izzypup, tell your son he is wise, lol!!! I'm going to mull the boyfriend issue over for a bit. Give myself a week or so to really figure out what I want. I don't want to throw away something good because I'm in a funk. But I don't want to settle for someone who doesn't make me happy.  
19 Apr 16 by member: notelaine
You are a wise woman - you will figure it out. 
19 Apr 16 by member: HCB

     
 

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