Snowwhite100's Journal, 05 Dec 22

In the month since our daughter died, I've been binging and gained about 8 lbs. Even though I'm still intermittent fasting for about 16 hours daily, I haven't even weighed for several days. Yes, I've wanted to write to you beautiful people here that have supported me, I'm so down about our daughter, and my 86-year-old husband that gets mad at me all the time and even threatens me physically from time to time. He is not assaulting me but since he took all our money, locked me out of our home, poured 5 glasses of water on me, and asked me to move out of the home we've lived in for 52 years, sometimes I feel worn down. I keep remembering last year when he grabbed me by my clothes around my neck and threw me around, the letter I received by private message from one of our FatSecret members. I see her giving support to other members and is on here a lot, but even though I was 79 years old at the time she didn't cut me much slack about me trying to take care of my disabled husband since we don't qualify for Medicaid and he is pretty robust and still drives and does yard work. I'm in worse shape now with my grief, bad back, and painful sciatica. This is my choice to try to finish my course with honor. I'm much more beaten up emotionally now and still sleeping on the couch after 5 months since he also locked me out of the bedroom. I don't want a court fight, nor do I want to abandon him. It is and was then too late for me to make a new life for myself. I'm going to put her letter of March 7th 2021 here that she "FS Private Messaged" to me. How can I complain with her letter still ringing in my ears? Sometimes we don't know how much we can hurt another with our words. Thank you Lord, that You are carrying me. And I pray for this FS gal that sent this to me and hope she doesn't have tragedy in her life.

"Snowwhite: FS is probably not the best place for writing abuse journals. It isn't clear if you are reaching out for help or if you're just whining (again). That's harsh, but the only other possible conclusion is that you yourself are severely mentally ill and that you actually get your jollies from getting abused and then getting cooing attention back from others. Healthy people have boundaries and leave spouses who hate them and that are actively trying to drive them out. They reach out to others not for pity but for strategies and tips on how to divorce and protect yourself and your assets. You appear not to be trying to fix your problem, but rather to wallow in it. And that can annoy and disgust other people here, who are trying to support others who actually want help fixing their problems (like overeating)."

"It is just my opinion here that you are using the bible and your religion as an excuse not to leave. Perhaps you are riding it out until he finally dies, or perhaps you would rather live with an asshole who despises you than live alone or with a family member or a good friend. One thing is for sure: he wants his house to himself, and is probably wondering how far he will have to take the abuse for you to finally get the f*ck out. Divorce would have him paying you alimony, his pension, half his retirement, etc., and you would definitely be the winner on that front. So if you are willing to risk being killed or sent to the ER, by all means stay with him, since both of those options will also enable him to get rid of you. Otherwise, the next time he's hospitalized, move all your stuff out of the house, empty your joint bank accounts and get an attorney. Either way, you'll need to find a better website than FS to get help (or endlessly complain)."

Less than 5 hours later she sent me a second message with more of the same but including a different website I should use to complain. Of course, I will not reveal her identity, but just ask that you pray for her (and me) too.