Sharons Victory's Journal, 30 Apr 20

so I'm going to try to eat only dinners so I can enjoy food again without so much limitation when I do eat...so far I am not really making it...I keep snacking before dinner...but going to try to start it soon.

Psychologically I'm struggling with eating again...I need to snap out of it and remember that I lost 100 lbs WITH food...I shouldn't be afraid of it.

I keep asking myself what's going on inside of myself and I think it's just being hard on myself for this gain and wanting it gone FAST so when quarantine is over I'll be back to my slimmest weight...

I guess what started it was just general feeling ashamed of myself and grossed out by myself...but then on top of that some guy that broke my heart is getting so fit right now (he was chubby when I knew him) and he saw me on the street the other day and I was just bummed I knew that I'd gained and he'd lost and I just wondered what he thought when he saw me...I just don't ever want to feel that feeling again. I don't ever want to feel beneath anyone ever again...especially somebody that saw very little value in me...I want to show the world that I value myself...and I need to value and love myself no matter what weight I am...but I feel like that will always be a struggle for me.

In steps to start moving in the right direction again, today I brought the low carb strawberry pie I made the other day to work to give away so I stop eating it (have eating it the last two days since breaking my fast) ..

Tonight I'll be making low carb butter chicken and naan and that will be my meal for the day (other than the pie I had this morning...I'm weak I know).

I just have to get back in to a healthy routine.

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342 kcal

Fat: 26.11g | Prot: 5.25g | Carbs: 21.22g.   Breakfast: Philadelphia 1/3 Less Fat Neufchatel Cream Cheese, Strawberries, Diamond Walnut Pie Crust, International Delight Sugar Free Caramel Macchiato Coffee Creamer. more...