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Please pray for me, I am so miserable tonight. Tomorrow, Saturday is the day of the Memorial Luncheon for our daughter. It's at a Chinese Restaurant so that takes most of the pressure off me but I'm still miserable. Tonight I bought 2 big cheesecakes at Costco, fresh blueberries for on top, and 3 orchids for the tables. I was shopping for 3 hours this afternoon for my friend and for us. Yesterday and part of today I was going through old pictures to find ones (of our daughter) to take tomorrow. What a trip down memory lane! It hurts, I hurt, and I can't even think straight about what I will say at the Memorial. I do have a pastor speaking, the same one as for our son's funeral. We are so old and isolated that there will only be 19 of us. There were 160 at our son's funeral. I don't want to go, I don't want to face it. My chest hurts, my head hurts, my face, and even my teeth hurt. I've been living on 4 hours of sleep a night. I haven't even picked out what I am going to wear. And I have one more store to go to in the morning for my sick friend. I'm binging again and have had so much food and sugar my stomach is yucky upset. I want to turn off the pain. Our son-in-law, all his friends, neighbors, and relatives are not even coming. If it weren't for the Lord carrying me I couldn't go on. Thank you, Lord. And thank You for all the comforts I have: food to eat, a warm dry place to sleep, a car to drive, and a comfortable house to live in. And I can still walk, even though it hurts with sciatica. Please comfort me, Lord, and thank you for loving us. Thank you that you see my pain. Thank you that you see and know that all these FS folks and I are here at this time in history when things may get very rough in the next several years. Thank you for giving us Jesus so we can be reconciled to you. Give us peace and courage. Help all these FS folks and me to sleep tonight. Bring your will into my life, and help me to accept it.
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57.8 kg
Lost so far: 0 kg.
Still to go: 4.4 kg.
Diet followed: Poorly.
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Gaining 0.5 kg a Week
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