|
It's been 42 days since I have reported and I did lose 3 lbs in that time but my goodness that's slow. I have to eat very little to lose since I can hardly walk or exercise. It's been 2 ½ months since I've been struggling with this severe sciatica pain in my leg from my bad back. It just doesn't want to hold me and in fact it did give out on me coming down the stairs and if I hadn't been holding on tight I would have taken a flying leap to the bottom. I have to go up and down with my other foot leading one step at a time and sometimes I come down sideways holding on with both hands. My husband has some trouble walking also and his office and computer are upstairs and when he yells to me to come up to help him with the computer, how to spell a word, or even to help him with his TV from his TV room, etc. he gets so frustrated that he can't hear me answer and it takes me so long to get up and start walking that by the time I get to the bottom of the stairs, or to his TV room he is fuming mad/furious. I don't think his legs are as painful as mine (not sciatica) since he will go for a walk to the end of the block 2 or 3 times but he is so used to me running to cater to him, he doesn't seem able to change or doesn't want to change or forgets. Frankly, I dare not “completely” cater to him or it would be so dangerous I couldn't live here and our marriage would be over. With a restraining order, we couldn't see each other, and if I have to leave he will throw my things away. He can't live on his own. Even walking away from him proved very dangerous in the past. Yes, I am living on pins and needles, and I have no idea from day to day what is coming, but of course, it will change eventually. He is not ready for a home of some type and we don't qualify for Medi-Caid anyway. It has been that same 2 ½ months of sciatica that I have been sleeping on the couch because he locked me out of the bedroom (and the house) and poured 5 glasses of water on me and our wood floors, and said it is going to get a lot worse. He also said he could cut off my legs and logically I know that's remote but it still sticks in my mind. Since he closed our joint accounts and put everything in his name only I'm charging most things. I paid August's bills as he demanded and he paid September. Although he said I would have to pay every other month he has paid a couple of bills recently. He had said my social security check of $470. a month was the same as his retirement pension but for now, he seems to understand a hundred is not the same as a thousand and is willing to sign his checks for household bills. Even on the couch, I am glad to have a warm, dry place to sleep, unlike many people in this world, and I have some cash to pay the guy that cuts the grass. He is being nicer most of the time but still threatens me. If you had a disabled child you would do what you could to take care of them. I have an 86-year-old disabled husband with many physical problems and memory loss. He almost went into the hospital again Wednesday morning and by Friday the doctor said he still had crackles in his lungs. He won't let me monitor his medication and he wasn't taking enough diuretic to get rid of excess water. He was playing loosy-goosey with it and his lungs and heart aren't strong enough to pump the water out. I live day to day doing what I can. At 80 I can't make a new life for myself away from here. We have been married for 61 years and lived in this comfortable house for 51 years. My computer that I do taxes on had a nervous breakdown or fried and it's at the shop for them to copy the hard drive for me. I'm going through papers looking for the Turbo Tax original disk for 2020 and in the process throwing out 90% of the papers I go through. For the last few weeks, I have been sewing because he threw a lot of clothes and papers out of the attic when he wanted to work on our old TV and internet cable. He wants a second TV cable in the living room so that when he needs a bed downstairs in the future he can have his own TV on the other end of the living room with a bed. He still drives when he is not dizzy, is weeding in the yard, and repaired my washing machine this week. I can finally wear nearly half of my old clothes now, so am taking out and putting in seams plus giving some things away. For 5 weeks I took jewelry to church to share with the gals there. I have 5 different places I am giving clothes to and even today after my chiropractor appointment am going to take a robe and warm pants to the gal I take groceries to, and pick up 3 items to shorten for her. Altering the thrift store clothes from Goodwill has been my “outlet” for years for creativity and doing something for me, so sewing became my hobby. I have way too many clothes but regularly wear from size 2 to 12 as I go up and down 25 to 30 lbs. Just call me yo-yo.
|
54.9 kg
Lost so far: 0 kg.
Still to go: 1.5 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
|
Losing 0.3 kg a Week
|