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This is day 100 of giving up wine and sweets except for 1 glass of wine on our anniversary; and day 8 of no regular bread. Our daughter and husband are here from Arizona for a couple of days on their way to go camping at the beach with her 2 cousins and their families. Since her freezer door got left open she brought a tortilla dish for dinner and of course I ate it. Whenever I dieted and went to someone's house for dinner I always ate whatever they served even if it was something I wasn't eating at home. It's easy to decline alcohol and limit your bread intake but it's kinder to not mention that you aren't eating thus and so. It's really hard on me emotionally when she visits because she is so critical of me. Two days before she came I shared with her that Monday my husband closed our checking account that I paid all the bills on, and opened one in only his name. The next day I asked him if he also took my name off of our savings or IRA and he said he couldn't remember. He also canceled my credit card at the Credit Union. I do have another one since I have Social Security checks of around $500. a month. She started in on me that I have so many clothes, plus food for prepping that he is relegated to just his tiny TV room in our 2,2000 sf house. It doesn't count that he comes into the living room and takes over my TV when I am watching a movie to just check out the channels and see what the difference is between his TV and mine. I know he doesn't like "stuff" around, and yes it is way too much for him since he would want things to look like an army locker but I think all that I do for him should make up for something. She hinted that my "stuff" constituted abuse and that he takes care of me. I said he sure doesn't take care of me emotionally since he is so rude, demanding, and even cruel threatening to beat me and more. By the end of the call, I was crying and told her I love her and I'm so so sorry I have been a failure as a wife and mother. She didn't answer that. The next day I was resisting Satan all day because it was the first time in many years since I was tempted to leave our home putting my clothes and extra food in storage or committing suicide. For $500. a month of Social Security I couldn't rent an apartment but I might be able to rent part of my girlfriend's garage for storage. I would need to stay close by to take care of food etc. for him because we only have 1 car. With his memory loss he probably couldn't order food delivery. Paying someone else to take care of him is not an option. Neither is him going into a "home", he wouldn't stay and we couldn't afford it anyway. He's not that bad off. So I guess I wouldn't leave. If I died our daughter would sell our house and take him to Arizona. I asked him if he would like to change rooms and have the large living room to watch TV and I would take the little room. He said no, that he loves his little den plus he has one of the bedrooms upstairs as his computer room plus he loves his garage with all his tools and table saw. She must think he can't "use" our bedroom because I have clothes on 1 chair and the desk. I was in so much pain from my back and leg sciatica by last night before they came (from moving dirt and mulch Tues, Wed., and Thurs.) and cleaning for their visit that I cried often yesterday and called a friend for prayer. When I sit down I can't walk right away from the pain in my leg. Thank the Lord that my daughter didn't say anything about the house last night so it was pleasant, but I know I'll get repercussions later. They are going out today with his cousin and going to his best friends Sunday. She wants to see the best friend's girlfriend because she already misses her since the 2 of them just got back about 3 weeks ago from going to Hawaii together for 10 days. My son-in-law's friend owns a house on the beach in Maui and paid for both their flights and 6 zip linings. I'm glad for her that she got that chance for great fun with a great friend.
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59.1 kg
Lost so far: 0 kg.
Still to go: 5.7 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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Losing 1.0 kg a Week
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