Snowwhite100's Journal, 29 Jun 22

Snowwhite100– if you haven’t had a physical in the last few years because of Covid, now might be a good time to get a checkup and make sure all is well 

Dear Kenna Morton, thank you for your comment of support. I don't know if you saw my compliment to you a couple of weeks ago on someone else's journal. Oh yes, they are a nurse too. I have regular physicals, one just on Wednesday plus go to the cardiologist regularly every 3 months. I have 3 leaky valves and an electrical problem. But my worst problem is my back. I was born with fractures in L5 vertebrae that never healed and has caused 3 bulging disks and then broke T11 nine years ago. I shouldn't have been complaining about my husband but I just wanted to, somewhere. You know I have bitterly complained from time to time. He has not threatened me in over a year but is insensitive, demanding, and rude, even cruel sometimes. I'm sorry that I have irritated you and others in the past with my rants. I'm still "bound and determined" to the best of my ability to finish my course with honor. He couldn't live alone and isn't ready for a "home" of some type. My weight gain is my own fault: I was binging for about 6 months. I've reined it in, but am not strict enough to lose much. This year I am better than last when I was flat on my back and not able to get up for a couple of weeks. When I could finally crawl to the bathroom I couldn't stand up. I'm grateful to be up and around but have to rest my back either laying down or leaning back on pillows during the day. I sew or prepare vegetables for dehydrating leaning back on pillows. My storage tote "raised beds" for vegetables are coming along nicely and I have lots of tomatoes. Thanks again. 

Dear Snowwhite, I'm so sorry for your troubles. Feel free to complain about your husband anytime, it is your journal. I think he's going to have a lot of explaining to do when he meets St. Peter at the Golden Gate. (((HUGS))) 

I was just concerned when you said that your belly was large enough to elicit a comment. Just wanted to sort of make sure something else wasn’t going on that was missed because people get focused on abdominal growth just being related to eating. I’m glad you are still under good medical care.. 

Good to hear from you Snow. Sorry you are having issues with your husband, but it does sound better than in the past. There was a time when I worried about your safety. You husband seemed out of control there for awhile. Yes, weight loss is harder the older we get. Darn metabolism! Please know there are friends here to care about you and wish you the very best. 

You’re doing great!:) 

I watched a YouTube video about living in your nineties that was from 60 minutes. A retirement community has 40 years of data from people who lived into their 90's. It said being a little overweight is good in old age. They didn't say how much, but I'm thinking 10-40lbs because most height/weight charts span a similar range. For example on my scales app it says a normal weight range for my height of 5'4" is 107-144.6. I've strived to be in the middle at 125.8. But feeling good at 130. My parents thought I was too thin at 120. At one time in my 20's I was 107 but everyone thought I was anorexic and actually I was. Anyway, all that to say if you're 20-30lbs up don't be too hard on yourself. It may actually be healthier for you. I think it's how you feel physically that matters most. Also, my stomach has always stuck out. People asked me if I was pregnant at 130 when I was young. Maybe it was wishful thinking but they also asked when I was 170lbs. Now my skin is just saggy. Its no longer fat but skin. Anyway, I'm just learning to accept myself as I am. No one is perfect.  

Stay strong❤️