Snowwhite100's Journal, 26 Feb 19

Your journals read as if you are miserable. I'm so sorry. 

Stop justifying his abusive behavior. You stay strong and focus on you. At your age, why are you trying to change for him? Luckily, he's not married to me. As I told my sister-in-law's first husband: "If you were married to me, you'd be long gone by now." 

Completely agree with Erquiaga. Hope things get better. ❤  

I know that when I have interpersonal issues - I take them to a professional counselor. I wish you all the best on your journey.  

We all have flaws. It appears he is unable to recognize his own flaws. Your patience is amazing. He'd be doing the drive on his own if he were married to me because I would suggest that my presence would just cause him undue stress, then stay home and dance myself silly the entire time. 

Illness and pending death can draw those closest to you together and at the same time tear you apart. I speak from experience. I chose to be patient and forgiving, noting things to sort out as things got better or worse. I will keep you close to my heart. 

You’re more patient than I. I’ve left two marriages and one relationship because of verbal abuse. Search your soul and find all the beautiful things about yourself. Don’t let somebody else strip you of you. ❤️ 

I have found that people (including myself) do and say stupid things when they are grieving. Yesterday was the second anniversary of my dad‘s death, and even two years later I still was snippy, was overly sensitive, and had an attitude when my best girlfriend of 41 years texted to see how I was. I know two things: one, I knew she loved me so it was safe being bratty with her, and two, I need to apologize for how I was. Sometimes when people are unlovable is when they need love (and patience) the most. You are a strong woman with a good heart; your husband is lucky to have you. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but I appreciate you sharing. Otherwise I wouldn’t have realized how bad my behavior was. Take care!🌸 

That man is and has long been an abusive bully who doesn't deserve you. HE is the one at fault here, not you. I hope you can find ways to spend as little time as possible with him. He should be looking out for you when you are in so much pain. I understand that you are religious, but no decent religion grants a man the right to treat a woman--or anyone--the way that man treats you. You have been incredibly giving to him and to your family for forever. Be as kind to yourself as you can be! 

Im so very sorry for u😓 i stayed in an abusive relationship for 19 years, then just couldn’t take it anymore so i n my 4 kids left, was the best thing i have ever done n truly wish i had done it early!!!! And i too believe n love our lord Jesus but i don’t believe that he wants us to be in abusive relationship! 

Have you considered talking with a therapist? It sounds like you maybe in an abusive situation that you are not identifying or possibly blaming yourself for. Or, maybe your husband is inappropriately taking his grief out on you. Regardless, you deserve peace and happiness in your life. Remember you are worth it! 

I understand where you are coming from. That is a hard situation and my faith has helped me tremendously and scripture is so encouraging. God Bless you for your faithfulness. Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier so I could support in prayer as you traveled.  

Snowwhite, Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share and I hope our listening gives you some relief. Praying for you and yours. 

Dear SnowyOne, you've mentioned the possibility that your husband, in his 80s, has a number of health issues possibly compounded deteriorating mental faculties. The added stressors of two family members with advanced cancer diagnoses -- not to mention the long drive and your own pain and limitations -- are beyond a saint's patience to endure. May God comfort you and bless you with great courage! 

Ugh i feel for you! Sorry your husband is losing his sister and taking out his feelings on you! Hang in there, i hope it goes ok tomorrow.  

You need a hug and a great big kiss.  

Thank you all for your kind words and support. My husbands sister said not to come today, but to come tomorrow. I can't know till then if she will cancel again. But I can tell you that things have calmed down here and are even amiable. I especially appreciate all your prayers: for me, my relationships, and our travel. My husbands reflexes and control of the car are great, his attitude and inattention are not. I am not miserable most of the time, and am thrilled that I get to spend eternity with the Lord. I don't consider myself religious. I'm sorry if I have been a downer, I sure have complained a lot here on FS. I kind of got on a roll, since nobody knows who I am, and I don't have another outlet. I spent $90.00 an hour in therapy in the 1990's but I'm sorry to say I don't change. That is my biggest flaw. I only learned about the quirks in my brain. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Miraculum: I love the name: SnowyOne. Funny, it fits.