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I shared my husband is throwing some of my things away. Night before last, when my husband went to bed, I brought the big trash can in and went through it, only taking out about 1% of my stationary supplies, receipts, and pictures. Because he had pushed me around and threaten to punch me in the nose, I made it look like I hadn't touched it. Trash night tonight, and more of my stuff in it: I did take out one thing: a 5 gallon heavy plastic container to store water in, but not the 50 lbs of dried pinto beans (my emergency storage), 8 of his tee shirts, etc. My sister thinks I should take out the beans and shirts, and take them to the food ministry at church for others. After spending the evening emptying our freezer to defrost the ice maker that was spilling over, storing the items in 3 ice chests, and refilling the freezer later, my back is nasty. That with the fact it is raining out, I don't feel “led” to hassle it. That and the fact he threatened me. I may soon have bigger issues to deal with. The doctor is testing him because of his memory loss. If he loses his drivers license, I believe he will still drive. I cannot control him, and we would not have any insurance. I could lose my house. Even though I do not like riding with him, I know that losing his license would be my sign to therefore absolutely NOT ride with him. I need to chose my battles, and it's not beans. Isn't that funny: it's beans. It really is. I do call out in fright when he goes through red lights and stop signs. His van motor burned up about 2 months ago when moving our daughter (Stage 4 Cancer)to Arizona, but he hasn't pressed me to shop for another one. Surprising. My sister told me to get a storage unit and put some of my things in it. I doubt it, and incidentally do not follow my sister's advise. The money I spend on that, I could just replace something I really need. In regards to her advise to take the beans and shirts out of the trash, if he checked on it and found them gone, he may have become violent, he had already pushed me around earlier when I wanted to take my papers out. Pray for my attitude and that I would know what is right to do. I want to be kind, but I also want to be strong, and do not know the balance. I like the idea of being a velvet wall, but don't know what to do in many situations. I need wisdom so very much, then the ability and will, to do the best: for him and for me. I have thanked the Lord for years for leaving him with me, but it's getting harder. Well, maybe it's not. Once he punished me by not acknowledging my presence for 6 months. I can't leave overnight: he might throw away all my clothes, plus he is dizzy often and may fall; he is on blood thinner. He is barely speaking to me. Is his volatile anger worse? Maybe. Do I think this is going to get worse? Statistics say yes.
Fasted 16 hours.
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52.7 kg
Lost so far: 1.2 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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View Diet Calendar, 08 January 2019:
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1041 kcal
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Fat: 80.48g | Prot: 61.63g | Carbs: 26.14g.
Breakfast: Coffee. Lunch: Ham Steak (Boneless, Extra Lean, Cured), Trader Joe's Triple Creme Brie Cheese, Egg, Animal Fat or Drippings, Trader Joe's Baby Shanghai Bok Choy. Dinner: La Preferida Red Chile Enchilada Sauce, Trader Joe's Grass Fed Angus Beef 85% Lean, Trader Joe's Balsamic Vinaigrette, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Cherry Tomatoes, Trader Joe's Organic Baby Lettuce Mix. more...
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Losing 1.6 kg a Week
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