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Well my weight has gone up again but I'm not recording it yet (partly because I know some is cyclic fluctuations, and partly to give myself a chance to turn the tide)
Instead, I'll focus on a couple of positives, I met someone who hasn't seen me for quite a long time, and they said I looked amazing - well I have to agree of course, (I just do - but looks can be deceiving)
But even more useful than that in the 'get a grip, don't lose what you've achieved' motivation pile, today I got a chance to confirm what I suspected, I fit in a swing without getting hurt by the chains!!! That was really lovely and (dare I say it? sure I do!) joyous. Because, of course, once I confirmed that then I got to enjoy being on the swing and it sure felt like victory.
So it isn't that I'm ignoring the scales, they're telling me something very important, but weight loss or maintenance or even gain isn't really about the numbers - in the end it is all about what we can or can't do.
I really think I want to remain in the 'can enjoy using a swing' and 'can try and learn cartwheels' category.
I've got to work with myself about how I do that - I'm not making unhealthy food my friend or expecting it to solve or hide something, that's a positive - but what seems to be happening is not just in food but in everything I'm having trouble thinking, trouble deciding, trouble remembering, trouble caring even, and sometimes complete dysfunctional absence of thought - some of my bad food choices are allowed 'balanced eating' but it keeps going off balance for those other reasons... never mind, I've already picked my method - trust myself (that's a method), eat healthy foods as often as possible (reduce the physical 'feed me' signals that could end up getting fed incorrectly), increase the exercise (or at least, consider it).. it's a version of 'change what you can change and accept the rest'.
What I won't be doing is making myself unhappy over it, or adding anything challenging as I have enough other sorts of situations helping me to both of those outcomes right now. Using a swing is quite good exercise, and that's quite a poetic truth, which means I may well keep it in mind.
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 Comments
Glad you enjoyed having a swing ARB! Sounds fun. I haven't been on one for years. You seem to know how you want to carry on, so just keep trying to make all your food choices as nutritious as possible. You may find you don't even crave the "naughty" food any more.
10 Jun 17 by member: Doobrie
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I agree with Doobrie...glad to hear that you can enjoy success without the confirmation of numbers.
10 Jun 17 by member: 2227Gwen
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You are always such a positive person that I am not surprised that you have already worked out a way to move forward without going into 'beating yourself up' territory. I love reading your journal and your comments because I find them both wise and kind. Good luck with getting over this little blip. I will admit I haven't tried a swing yet, however, I did go on a slid/chute for the first time in 30 odd years. It was amazingly liberating and now that I am embracing aging disgracefully I will be trying out those swings next!
10 Jun 17 by member: H2Go
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Beautiful journal and awesome achievement. Being able to enjoy life's simple pleasures is what this journey is all about. (I love my porch swing and rocking chairs). 🙂
11 Jun 17 by member: Mom2Boxers
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Thanks everyone for your lovely responses to this journal.
11 Jun 17 by member: ARB0001
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I love swings, and I haven't tried one for ages. Will sneak along to the playground up the road tonight! I might try the slide as well 😀 You are doing great. I love the way you analyse what you're doing and fine positive ways forward 👏👏👏👏👏
13 Jun 17 by member: heidij123
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You've summed up so very eloquently what I've been feeling. I know a few things have been getting to me but after my holiday, it's time to buckle down. Thanks for the great read!
13 Jun 17 by member: Phooka
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It is very easy to forget just how far we have come sometimes...in our eagerness to move forward a bit quicker too, we forget just how important it is to accept sometimes that how life is, it is not a failing on our parts, sometimes you just have 'live' and enjoy your life, and sometimes you just have to get through, there is nothing more to it than that, it is not a mark of failure or weakness, and when you are able and ready get back to your diligence, you will reach your destination as long as your positive efforts always outweigh your zero or negative efforts, even if only by a little, you will still win in the long run.
13 Jun 17 by member: misterbee
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