LadyinDenim's Journal, 27 Aug 23

Honestly, that's exactly what I would do. More (((HUGS))), sis!!! 💜❤️‍🩹 

Binge averted 🥲 I feel better 🙂 

😁😊 

Would overeaters anonymous help? We are here 24/7 365 on line...we understand binge eating...eating when yo do not want to eat...oa.org its free and its support always available and UT works. Many weigh and measure food, identify "alcoholic" foods ..foods we can never eat safely like alcoholics can never safely drink alcohol... Might be worth a try...people have lost and kept off hundreds of pounds all over the world..many people especially who come from alcoholic families of origin suffer from food addiction.. Again..check out oa.org.  

Not UT..oa...danged spell check... 

💙the past has passed💙 there is value in looking to see if your behavior now is not in lock step with some aspect of what is true about you because of learned past experiences. but aside from that, focusing on the past robs you of the beauty in your life right now. 💙 

Bob oh boy if I could take back some of my stupid mistakes I made in my past! But, I’ve repented to Jesus, and trying to just moving forward. Not forgetting my regrets, but thankful I’m more mature not to keep repeating them. One day at a time, I just try to do better. And I STILL make mistakes occasionally lol just not as dramatic as my younger, care free life! 

@Storm, I used to have a chip on my shoulder and everyone around me suffered because of it. @Unity, with age comes wisdom, thank goodness! I have more insight to my behavior and motivations than I used to. @Dianne, OA has useful tools. One I like is "three measured meals a day with nothing in between." I do that now on eating days. I have two or three measured meals. I was overwhelmed last night with a mess of a grieving process and I needed to end my fast early to take care of myself. There are some foods that are best avoided for me, but I never say never. I am abstinent 24 years from pot and alcohol, and abstinent from compulsive overeating 85 days. 

Stupid mistakes, we all make them so we are all in this together. In my case, I should have been dead many times, but I am still here. Johnny Cash sang a song about looking back. Just remember, You survived the battles, be thankful for the journey, and Christ was Johnny's spoils of victory. We are here for you, be strong and courageous. You'll get there. 

I too have regrets for some of my past behaviors! I wish I could go back and change things but since that can't happen, I just move forward and try to not repeat those behaviors.🩷🩷 

I need me some Johnny Cash today ❤🙂 @4WD & Diana, I'm hanging in there!  

Why reach to food? Is there something else you could reach to?😀 

@Gage, I reached for food because I hadn't eaten for 56 hours. Fasting was the easier stressor to relieve. 

We all make mistakes. Try not to dwell on them because you have changed. Almost all of us have as we have gotten older. Or at least those of us who are intelligent enough to recognize mistakes and not want to repeat them. Yes, don't ever punish yourself by binge eating but have a meal that you will enjoy and that will make you stronger to get your through this rough patch. I often choose foods that are recommended for people who have inflammation or depression and avoid those foods which may make it worse. Time for those close by you to give you a hug.  

Thanks, Morticia 🙂 

It sounds like you did it just right. You got hungry, you planned a good meal, and you ate. You are on the right path. And we're here with you, friend! 

Lady, if there was ever a human born (outside Jesus) who doesn’t have regrets they are a psychopath. You are just human. Suggestion, log the food you plan to take BEFORE you eat it so you can make a better decision about IF you should eat it. You have been working really really hard. Backsliding will not change any of the regrets you have but may add to them. Forgive yourself. Pretty sure whomever you are thinking of (ex MIL? Ex? I saw your post the other day) forgave you long ago. None of us are the same people we were even ten years ago let alone when you were young 35 years ago. You were a baby. Forgive. It’s the best gift you can give yourself. I know it’s hard. I work on it with myself in regards to parenting decisions i made and i was a really really good, loving mom. The important thing is, do you like who you are today. You should honey💋 

Thanks, Erika & YOH. I was thinking about my MIL and remembering our conversations, and judging old me for being petty and resentful. She only deserved admiration and respect. Today, I came to the realization that I was actually doing the best I could at the time, and while it falls short of what my actions/reactions would be today, it really was the best I could do with the tools I had. I remembered she is the one who taught me to thicken my gravy with corn starch instead of flour, so I always think of her when I make gravy 🙂 My food decision last night was solid and I still posted a loss today 👏👏 

Back in the day, all the experts were telling us to eat grains. That was the informed advice. It just turned out to be wrong and toxic for most of us. I was hitting my 6-11 servings of complex carbs daily. I couldn't figure out why I just got fatter and fatter, and mentally out of control. It was a SAD time in my life. I celebrate that I discovered Atkins, then Paleo, Keto and HFLC. My brain is better and the body is in progress.  

Our food addictions and fat gain was not our fault! It was cruelly foisted upon us.