Katsolo has wondered if I have been too busy to post and update. Well...yes and no. I'm persevering right now and it requires a great deal of energy. I don't like the word struggle. It lacks imagination and it's melodramatic. There's a smack of victim-hood laced with the word "struggle" for me. I like the word perseverance, because there's so much in that word. Yes, there's struggle, there's challenge, but there's also fortitude and strength endowed in "perseverance". Manifested in that word is the certainty that at some point in the process, triumph will happen one way or another and joy, despite it all is inevitable :-)
The trip to Galapagos was phenomenal and I look forward to seeing how its magic will continue transform and influence this girl in the days, months, years to come. Africa was much the same way for me, and I still reap the rewards from the gifts she offered when I had the blessing to go.
However, it's enough to say that getting a cold during the last few days on the trip was not ideal. To rub salt in the wound, the guide asked that I keep it quiet until we had our COVID results back. We had to take COVID tests before and after our departure from the Archipelago. Both the guide and myself had no doubt I was negative. If I wasn't, rest assured everyone aboard that ship would have COVID.
But, we both know how feeble minds can work...and so I agreed.
This was definitely a head cold. And, I feel sure it was contracted during my snorkel time with the sea lions. Which, hands down was one of many magical experiences I had during this expedition. Unfortunately, for some reason the snorkel mask kept letting water in through the nose area. I paid it no attention since breathing through ones nose in a snorkel mask is not an option. But, when I got back to the zodiak and took off the mask, a waterfall of sea water came out of my nose. It was the next morning that I woke up with a very sore throat and nasal congestion that quickly moved to my chest.
What I can say is how thankful I am to the urgent care doctor that prescribed me some antibiotics before I even left the states for Ecuador as a "just in case-r". I started taking them immediately and feel sure if they had not been available to take, things might have gone south fast.
The COVID tests for the whole crew came back "Negativo" including my own, which we knew. But, by the time we were back in Guayaquil celebrating our last night - it's safe to say this girl's immune system was knee deep in its own battle.
We were set to take a "red-eye" back and did not leave Ecuador until 2:00 a.m. in the morning. We knew most U.S. airlines have been struggling to staff planes, keep flight times and delays were imminent. But, I can tell you that neither my mother or I was prepared to go 44 hours without sleep. I'm thankful my mother was able to get in little cat naps here and there, but as as most know airports are not designed for sleep. I literally had none - not even "micro-sleep". This body's legs with it's stiffness and spasticity let me know just how not comfortable they were with sitting in an upright position on an airplane. And, with a nose, throat, and chest cold trying to sleep with a mask on my face at the airport just wasn't an option this body was willing to relent too.
The amount of neural fatigue I was undergoing is an understatement. I knew every rule in the MS handbook was being broken including a few of my own. And, I definitively knew while trying very hard not to faint or pass out in an airport restaurant in Texas while waiting for our delayed flight to arrive, I had just taken this body over the edge.
What kind of edge?
Well these are the 2 MRI's that have been ordered by my neurologist. They're scheduled for December 3.
MRI BRAIN W/WO CONTRAST
MRI SPINE CERVICAL W/WO CONTRAST
I'll be a while in the tank this time since both spine and brain are being done. It will take about an 1.5-2 hours. Good thing I have lots of drugs, but I'm contemplating asking for the blinders this time. I normally keep my eyes closed in the MRI machine, but doing it for almost 2 hours may be tough.
I jump ahead. So, let's jump back. Mom and I finally arrived home at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. We were supposed to arrive at 1:00 p.m. earlier that afternoon.
When we finally got to our car at the airport, I was actually seeing double anytime I attempted to look at anything long distance. It was fine if I was looking at something close up. But, every time I looked at the moon there were 3 other halves attached to it! LOL
I knew unless we had some weird random planetary metamorphosis while I was away, the neural capacity was compromised at this point.
I fell asleep in my own bed by 3:00 a.m. and slept for 10 hours straight. When I awoke, I knew it was imperative to take it very easy and it was essential to transition back into healthy habits for the state of my health alone. And, even now I'm quite amazed at how readily and wonderfully this body responded. There was definitely about 8-10 lbs. in water weight from travel, being sick, meds and lots of very good food in addition to 3 extra pounds of fat. But, the essential thing was transitioning into those habits so this body might start to heal.
I followed the typical weight maintenance rules I always adhere to post travel. No weigh-in, measuring, or calipers for at least 3 days to 1 week. Although, this time I'm making it at least 5 weeks. Transition back into exercise slowly. No new increases in reps, sets, rpms on the bike, or weights for at least one week. All exercise is to be done, but at a minimum until muscles remember and the Central Nervous system can begin to wake up again.
And, it was starting to come along very well. Those 3 extra pounds (my assessment) came in handy and I was starting to up this body's game again.
And, then...Last weekend happened. I started noticing my body strength exercises and resistance training felt harder, not less challenging. These joints were starting to pop and crack and not in a way that feels good and lets a person know they're warmed up, but in a manner that makes one feel like the gears are grinding the wrong way. The post workout soreness was intense and it didn't make sense considering I hadn't incurred this soreness doing the same exercises right after my trip.
Something felt off. But, I persevered.
Monday came. It was a rainy day and now all my joints were hurting. My knee joints ached, the muscles in my calves ached, my elbows were popping and cracking, both of my hip joints and my lower back was aching. I though "geez, is this what happens when one turns 48!"
I came home and did 30 minutes of cardio and a short crossfit met-con. I found movement helped alleviate some of the pain. Afterwards, I took my cold shower. But, for some reason this body just wasn't able to warm itself up afterward. There's always a little chill when I get out of my cold showers, but it never lasts that long because I end it on hot.
However, on this night my body was not able to hold the heat in. By the time I got my post workout snack in and my nightly cup of hot almond milk, I was shivering uncontrollably.
"This cannot be possible", I thought. "I cannot be getting sick again!!!"
Oh yes, yes she did...
By 3:00 a.m. in the morning I had a temp of 100.1. A half our later, it was 100.8. A half our after that, it was 101.3 and it didn't start coming down until about 4:38 a.m. when the abdominal cramping started and for lack of a better way to phrase it, I unloaded what felt like the whole contents of my intestinal tract.
My brain was baking and all that joint pain intensified X 10.
I already knew what needed to be done, but an auto-immuner has to act fast in these circumstance.
1. I needed to book an urgent care appt., and take another COVID and an H1N1 test to rule and or get treated.
2. I needed to contact the neurologist asap and get this booty in an MRI machine once we ruled out COVID and H1N1.
That's what it means when ya have MS and the immune system has its envelope pushed a little too far for comfort. Sick once is usually no biggie with rest and care.
But, twice in a month when one's resistance is already low and inflammation is high is a prime recipe for a flare up and new lesions. T-cells can start waging friendly fire because they are worn out and confused and a virus in the mix just intensifies the circumstances.
This is otherwise known in medical terms as a "cytokine storm". It's a very simplistic definition, but the results are the same. The immune system can start to attack itself and in an MS'ers case it starts to attack brain matter and the spinal cord. The fact that I have been feeling intense pain around my shoulder blades is not comforting. The cluster of lesions I have on my spinal cord is around the thoracic area of my spine.
Needless to say, the neurologist responded quickly. We have the negative COVID and H1N1 test and will see if this girl's luck was pushed too far. Given the joint pain is present, we already know there is systemic inflammation. We just want to confirm that inflammation hasn't turned into something worse.
At the very least, I'll get a long needed scan of the thoracic area of my spine. It's been a while and a bit overdue.
For my part, I am feeling A LOT less sick than I was on Tuesday and Wednesday. Whatever the virus was, it has passed for the most part. The inflammation in my joints much improved. But, the neural fatigue is very real and this girl putters out quickly. All my workouts are back to minimums and it's tough to even make the minimums at times. I just let this body do the best it can, split up the sets, take long rests and try to set a doable pace on the bike at high resistance.
...but, whatever the workaround "keep moving" is the mantra.
This too, will pass. In the meantime - I persevere and remember that joy and triumph are inevitable :-)
Have a beautiful, blessed weekend everyone!
