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Hello there!
It's been a crazy, hectic morning.
I slept great, after a day with a lot of things happening (and not much sleep to boot!), and I woke up well rested. It was nice.
It was pouring down outside, so I chose to not go walk, but I did go to the gym for my workout.
I have so few workouts left before surgery, and I don't want to miss a single one. In fact, I haven't missed a workout in months, and I difinitely wouldn't want to skip now. In fact, I hope to push in one more workout than I usually do. I train Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays usually, but I figured that if I squeezed in another session Sunday, and pushed my Monday one to Tuesday, then I get one more before I go to the hospital Wednesday morning.
Sounds like a good plan.
I'm gonna have to ensure that I walk a little more today, since I missed my workout. It's not all bad, I am already at 6,300 of my 10,000 daily step minimum, and I have an active afternoon/evening ahead of me. I can easily reach my goal, and probably then some.
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Yesterday, I got SO frustrated with the weigh-in/journaling here on FatSecret. Once again, the website murdered my journal, and it was a nice, long, thoughtful one... I was furious, and it really wasn't what I needed at that time. It seems that it happens when I weigh in and journal at the same time. I originally decided to just not weigh in, but as some of you pointed out, I can just do the weigh in and the journal separate. Makes sense.
And for those of you who were worried... don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. You will have my overly long dabble to read for many moons to go. :)
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My weight is UP today. I did eat a little more than planned, but not over my calorie burn for the day. I did sane choices, but I was HUNGRY.
Lately, I've been pondering quite a bit on this "Tuesday Hunger", that many times have made me go overbord. I see several things that can be an issue, and fortunately they're all relatively easy to fix - especially after the surgery:
- I tend to go low on calories to compensate for the weekend's shenanigans. The obvious solution is to reel it in during the weekends, and not have to go extra low on Mondays. Compensate over a whole week if necessary.
- Monday is a workout day, and generally a very active day. The need for calories is high, and if I go low instead, Tuesday will ask me to compensate. The solution is again to eat enough on Mondays for the activities to have proper fuel.
- Monday is teaching day. This usually means that I eat my dinner at 4 PM the latest. I don't eat until 11 AM Tuesday. It's longer time than any other day.
So, with this in mind I think I can fix it. I sort of fixed it yesterday by not going all nuts - a few hundred over and only proper foods.
Anyways, weight is up. No surprise there. I can back (sigh) in the 84's. I really want to stay at THE MOST the 82's, but I don't know if it is at all possible. I don't know if it is even a reasonable goal any longer. Muscle and all. Still, body fat percentage says between 9 and 12 depending on day and time, so there should be room for improvement.
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I think it's good enough for surgery, the way I am today. I would really prefer to be lighter, but I believe it's good enough. I'm stressing a lot over it, but deep down I think there is no need.
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I talked to my surgeon on the phone yesterday. She called because she wanted to ask if she could use photos that were taking during the evaluation of my "surgery case". They are pictures from before and after surgery, but all after I lost weight.
They are all nude pictures, and she obviously needs approval. The pictures will have face and tattoos blurred, so I am not recognizable. Obviously, I said yes. I'd be proud to help others with this.
The pictures are mostly done to prep people who are looking to have gastric bypass surgeries. They are, however, gonna let everyone know that this dude did the weight loss thing without surgery, and they want to show that this is still an option, and that it is far from impossible, no matter how much weight you need to lose. I love that I get to be the posterboy for that one.
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Talking to the surgeon, I told her my concerns about the whole weight vs. surgery thing. She told me that as long as I was reasonably close to what I weighed last time, there will be no issues. Last we met I weighed in at 79.9 kilos. Today I am 4½ kilos higher, but I know it fluctuates. The 79.9 weigh-in was a record low in months, and definitely a "one-day" kinda thing. 82 will be fine, I think.
The thing is, of course, this is so damn important to me, and I often feel I am struggling with this. I want to be in the right spot. Of course, it is also 4 months ago she saw me last. I am again a good chunk stronger. I do have more muscle, but probably not 5 kilos. LOL. Looking at my photos from around the first surgery, I see that my face looks skinnier. I see that I was in fact much thinner than I am now. I just hope it's all okay. I want this finished.
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Since I had her on the phone, I talked to her about maintaining weight/Muscle after the surgery.
She told me that my plan is the best laid out one she has EVER heard. Most people have no clue as to what to do after. They just wing it, just like I did last time.
She told me to give it a week or two before doing workouts, and then just pay attention to how my stomach skin reacts to the different machines. If I can sit down comfortable, and the exercise doesn't stretch or bend a lot around the stomach/pelvis area, then it's all good. No need to NOT do anything. There is no surgery deeper than the skin, so there is no real damage to do internally. I just have to be careful, and watch my step.
She also found my weight maintenance plan to be close to perfect. She really liked the thoughts and ideas I had put behind it.
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One thing about the maintenance post-surgery.
I will have to accept that I will be putting on weight. I don't think this can be avoided.
You see, I feel that right now I am NOT retaining a whole lot of water, compared to if I was eating at maintenance level.
I have a feeling that once I start eating close to my maintenance level - and that could go past 3,000 calories per day if my fitbit is right (depending on how active I am post surgery of course), I will definitely be retaining more water in my muscles. My muscles will LOVE me for it. They will get bigger, and heavier, and I will get stronger. And they will weigh me down.
The good thing about it is that - of course - the more my muscles weight, the lower the body fat percentage. That is where I wanna go.
I'm gonna try to experiment A LOT more with bulking/cutting/muscle building after the surgery and recovery. The more I read into it, the more I experiment, the more I think this is the way to go, once we reach the end of the weight loss journey.
Building muscle gives me a goal. Bulking/cutting gives me a reason to focus on my food and nutrients. It also will help me to learn to eat enough, and to not always be in a calorie deficit.
The hardest part will be to mentally get a grip on this. It will be REALLY hard to fully grasp what is going on in the beginning - even if I know that it will probably happen and it will be okay - when I sit still after surgery, and have to eat at maintenance level. I will be putting on water weight, and I will get heavier.
My first reaction will probably be to cut down the calorie intake, and it will be hard for me to keep going. I need - NEED - to stay at maintenance level. I won't want to have a large workout setback. I want to get through this as easy as I can.
Eating calories at maintenance will give my body enough calories to keep things up to speed, including muscle. Going with a calorie deficit while I'm benched will maybe help me not gain fat, but it will also burn muscle. I prefer to gain a kilo of fat or two much more than to lose a kilo of muscle or two. The fat is the lesser evil in this game at this point.
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So, last thing from yesterday...
I spent an hour with a journalist and a photographer. They are putting my story in the local newspaper this coming Saturday! I will make sure you guys get to see it! I can't wait to see what they get out of it, and how it affects my classes and everything around me. I already have 8 people on my waiting list for classes, and I am hoping for this to explode! :)
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Today, I'm thankful for:
- Feeling great!
- Focus!
- Little walks that will up my step counts. Gotta reach those goals!
- Wife!
- WATER! (oh, and coffee...)
Life is good!
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