g_ortegam's Journal, 27 Jul 18

Good for You!!! I have a narcissistic mother but still have never found the gumption to draw the line. 

It was explained to me that humans gravitate either to like minds, exact opposites or whatever we grew up with. Not sure that’s true but Mom has an alcoholic family for the most part. She drank too much and was in a ton of abusive relationships. She didn’t seem to know how to have a healthy relationship and always fell for ‘bad men’. I think a lot of it has to do with how we were raised. 

@peep ya must be something about expecting what you're use to and not deciding to make a change  

@mj it's hard to get away from those people whom we love but know they're bad for us. Not only have I lost weight but I'm understanding that my unhealthy lifestyle didn't only consist of a heavy weight.  

Great going! Make new friends. It's never too late 

I agree try to be near people that will support you and not put you down. 

@g_ortegam I so agree with that. I keep trying. One day I will have the guts to say this is enough and break all contact. But at least I did not give into her exploits last night. I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself! 

I’m gonna step out on a limb here and help answer your question. I am in the same boat. The type of personality I have and maybe you also is a “mercy” driven personality coupled with liking to serve people. Therefore when we go too far with these folks we give them mercy and forgiveness where none is deserved. We like to serve and please others which they love tremendously. I and maybe yourself too are overbalanced in these areas. Some describe it as a passive personality. We put up with a lot of CRAP! On the flip side aggressive personalities are just as bad. Unfortunately we maybe do not realize it until it’s too late. But better late than never!!! Do what ur doing and back out or if necessary RUN! 😂 u won’t regret it. Mercy and serving are awesome but any truth carried to far becomes error...js  

I was in ur shoes a long time and finally stopped letting people push me around and kept on going but I finally got it right. just keep trying you will make it to a place in life where you are surrounded by people that only support you and not toxic to you 

Good for you! 👍👍 

Bill your comment resonated with me. I have a few in my life that take advantage and disregard all proper boundaries (go through my dresser, call from my driveway to see if I’m home, come over when we have company and I’ve asked them not to etc- and this is family). I love to help and serve people as well but this behavior has irritated me going on two decades. I’m finally standing up for myself and family. It’s not easy. I give in a lot. But my kids were left alone and we were lied to one too many times therefore anything involving them I can easily say no. I’m both aggressive (dislike confrontation unless I’m angry & then I just want to get it out and be done) and easily swayed by dominate personalities. I myself can be toxic but I’m working to change that through self discipline, online research and implementation as well as counseling. Some just don’t want to change and those are the ones we all need to say bye bye to!  

This YouTube video says it all “Madea - let them go” I tried to post the link but it didn’t take there  

Peeper I can relate. Good for you! Bill I'll check it out! Gotta be done with people and stupid bs.