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Good morning, FS buddies (and everyone else!)
It's Monday morning, and I am back to journaling after a pretty much even-free weekend.
Summarizing it would probably take less than three paragraphs. We went shopping Saturday, had a little lunch at the store, stayed home the rest of the time. That's about it.
I did need some rest, though, so it was more than welcome. It was a beyond boring weekend, but we watched a few movies, and I got to play some more music.
It seems that I can sit longer and longer with my bass guitar, which really makes me happy. I have so many things I'd like to rehearse, both new and old, but I simply haven't had the strength to do it.
Today I will practice more. I will practice the three BURN songs that we have decided to start with, and then dig into the Black Peanut material and get those songs situated. It's been AGES since I have played them, but I think I know them well enough that I can easily get into them.
The big challenge is that I though my sick leave have worked significantly on changing my playing style. I usually play with a guitar pick, but I really want to get into simply playing with my fingers. It's a very different feel, and I feel that I can do a lot of things this way that I can't do with a pick. The only thing I can do better with the pick is the speed. I play WAY faster with a pick, but that's all about training of course.
So this is how I will spend my morning. Music. Love it!
I slept like a rock last night. Actually, it's been a few nights now that I sleep better. I can really tell a difference with this.
My night pains and discomfort is less now, and I feel that I am recovering a little quicker. I still have fluid build-up, and it's been seeping a little all weekend, but this morning it seems to have stopped. The gauze that I put by the little hole between the stitches where it comes out only had a small red dot today. So I don't expect much from it until Wednesday when I go to the hospital to have it poked at again.
I never thought I'd actually be looking forward to going to the hospital for anything. LOL. It's just that it's such a relief when they get the thing going again.
The build-up is less though, or at least that is how it feels. It's mostly on my backside now, and this is the trickier part to drain. They always hope that they can ease it to the front where the fluids naturally drain (it found a little spot in the scar from where it can seep), but it's a long way to travel from the back as the hole is right below my belly button.
The alternative is, of course, to create a new hole closer to the problem area, but this would bean introducing a foreign object, and thus significantly increase the risk of infection. I really don't want that if we can avoid it - of course.
So, what else is going on? I haven't weighed myself for a few days. I tend to forget in the morning, as I focus on getting washed and getting my pads and girdle and everything in place. Several morning, I realize that I forgot when I have gotten dressed, and I'm simply not gonna bother to start over.
I know the scale will say somewhere between 81 and 85 kgs. I am okay with that. I try to do okay on my calories, and I usually manage. I am counting now, so assist Wife in doing good - but also to keep track of what I am doing. It seems easier to say no when I know that I don't have room in my budged. It's silly, because I have a very good idea of when too much is too much. I know what I can and what I can't do.
I have asked wife to let me do all the shopping for the rest of the month. First of all, I need some light exercise. We shop every day, as all the stores are right around the corner, and it's a good little walk for me. Since we shop daily, it's not gonna be very heavy. Also, Wife is always tired when she leaves work, and I'd like to take a load off her back. She's been helping me with pretty much EVERYTHING for the last month, and I'd like to pay it back a little bit.
This helps me to get out and move around. I like to sit at home, maybe play music, watch tv, surf online, but I really want to go out. I just need an excuse sometimes. I'm sure many people can relate.
I miss exercising. I miss getting on my bike and moving, burning calories. I know time is not right for that just yet, but it has now been a full month since I did it last. It's a LONG time to not do something that used to take up many hours of your week before. I can't wait for that to come back to me.
Generally, I'm mentally ready to move on from all this surgery talk. I'm tired of talking about it, tired of considering it, tired of dealing with it. I think this is a good sign. It's a sign that I am moving on.
I asked Wife to check out boss man and boss lady's calenders at work for me. I'd like to give them a little update on my situation, and ask them if there is a way I can do some work to start easing back into my job. Trouble is that I run out of energy, sometimes very quick and without any real warning, and this makes it hard to do my job. I have personal interviews with people, and they need to be called in a week or more in advance. How will I know how I feel in a week?!? This is a little tricky for me. I will have a talk with them though, I go stir crazy here at home.
Everyone's asking me if I'm gonna take any vacation time when I am well again. LOL. I think I have spent MORE than plenty of time away from work. Actually, I'm looking forward to going back.
Of course, vacation time is different, because I won't have my recovery to consider, but I think I will have to consider my recovery for quite a while, whether I am at work, on vacation or whatever I do. That's just the way it is. It's a huge surgery, and I don't get over it just like that.
I'm much better though. Today, I don't really feel that I am significantly restrained by it. Sure, my body is stiff. I can't pick up things that are flat on the floor, like paper, or a pen, and I tire out easily. But I feel pretty good. My head is slowly getting there, and I can concentrate better. All signs of recovery, I think.
So, it's with a good, positive outlook that I am starting this week. I have things I want to do today, the sun is shining outside, and it will be a tremendous day.
So, today I am thankful for:
- An amazing night's sleep.
- Morning coffee.
- Positive outlooks.
- Stuff to do!
- Hopfully talking to my bosses, if I can reach them.
Have an amazing week! Life is good!
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1725 kcal
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Fat: 67.91g | Prot: 97.33g | Carbs: 178.11g.
Breakfast: Egg, Rye Bread, Sliced Ham (Extra Lean). Lunch: Brown Gravy, White Potatoes (Flesh and Skin), Frikadelle. Dinner: Mashed Potato (from Dry), hamburgerryg. Snacks/Other: Makrelfilet i tomatsauce, French or Vienna Bread (Includes Sourdough). more...
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